Ice fishing’s black hole

As long as people have been digging holes in ice, they have been dropping stuff down them. Axes, lures, chisels, and keys are top candidates to disappear. The process of mak­ing an opening in the ice seems to create a black hole that magically sucks things away. For me, ice fishing holes have been a source of nearly endless minor disasters. Exhibit 1: In July of 1991, my wife Cheryl and I were married in Thunder Bay. We exchanged rings and I had a gold band. It was a lovely ring, although perhaps a tad loose on my finger, especially on cool days. That didn’t seem to be a major issue and I slowly got used to wearing it. In December of that same year a friend and I decided to try for first-ice walleye on Whitefish Lake, about an hour-and-a-half northwest of Thunder Bay. We drove to the lake and then walked out about half a kilometre on the ice pulling a sleigh. Fishing was decent, especially at last light, although I did have to grab a couple fish that were flopping in the hole. Back at home, several hours later, I dumped the fish into the sink and did a “ta da” with my hands. “Where is your ring!” said my bride, loudly. I looked at my left hand. There was no gold band. Two hours later, she and I were back on the lake in the dark, with flashlights, scanning the snow. We checked every hole and moved the fluffy snow away beside each one. No ring. It was a very quiet ride home. Ice fishing’s black hole had claimed its first major victory and I conceded my first loss. Sadly, there would be more. More victims claimed About six years after the wedding ring debacle, I was on a solo ice fishing adventure on Hawkeye Lake north of Thunder Bay. I had a new snowmobile and pop-up ice tent, and I was very excited to use both. I placed my keys and wallet in my snowmobile suit and headed down to the lake. It was quite mild for late-December and it was surprisingly warm in the tent. Soon my snowmobile suit was off and laid down within the tent. When I got ready to leave, I saw my keys lying on the ice and felt a huge sense of relief. They didn’t go down the hole!